Reality turned out to be very different from my plans. During the performance, Xander was the worst behaved I have seen him in well over a year. At first it was cute to see him so easily distracted. But when he started bugging other kids and flat-out disobeying his teachers on stage, it got to an unacceptable level. I was recording the entire time, but I don’t know how long it will take for me to be able to relive the experience – it was that bad. Rather than stay for the rest of the ceremony and reception, we left the auditorium and headed home as soon as Xander got his certificate.

As a stay-at-home mom, it’s hard to keep from seeing everything your child does wrong in public as a direct reflection of your parenting. (Throw into the mix being the black mother of a mixed child in a 97.87% white town in Arkansas and you add a lot of extra pressure, real or percieved… but that’s another story.) If it was someone else’s child acting up I would have thought, “What is his mom doing wrong?” and so naturally I started asking myself the same thing.

What am I doing wrong?

After dealing with Xander and getting him and Arya to bed, I started thinking aloud to Rob.

What could have triggered his behavior tonight? Does he have impulse control issues? Is he overstimulated or understimulated? Should I discipline him more or less at home? Why does he have problems with authority lately? Is he doing this on purpose? Is his home life too structured or not structured enough? Is he not 100% okay with Aliza joining us? Am I making the right decision sending him to a Montessori school next year? Should I rearrange the furniture?

He listened to my monologue for a while before telling me I was overthinking. Hours later, I realize he was right.

Xander is many things: imaginative, intelligent, fun-loving, and free-spirited to name a few. He’s also 4, and for whatever reason he had a bad night. Yes, it was hard to watch and not be able to do anything. And yes, it was extremely embarrassing. But he’s young, and the overall pattern of his behavior is nothing like what happened this evening. It’ll be okay.

On the third day of her visit, Rob wasn’t feeling very well. To give him some peace and quiet as he got over his illness, we packed a picnic lunch and headed to a park in Jonesboro.

While texting with Rob about how his sickness wasn’t getting any better, my phone ran out of batteries. We wound down our trip and I got my phone turned back on only to see a text message I missed. Rob had gotten so much worse that he needed to go to the ER and was unable to drive himself. Thankfully, Jason, the world’s greatest senior pastor, was able to come to his aid.

The diagnosis: Rob had a bad case of gastroenteritis (we’ll leave it at that) that managed to drain his body of almost all its fluids. After two nights in the hospital with a constant IV and two days at home drinking Gatorade in bed, he is still weak and not yet back to normal.

I am so glad my mother, who is a nurse, was here this week. The two of us were able to tag team watching the kids and staying with Rob. With a 4 year old, a 19 month old, and 3 week old who nurses every 2.5 hours, it would have been impossible for me to do alone.

The rest of the week was far less eventful. We played inside and outside, and we attended Xander’s last ball game of the season.

My mother also provided an opportunity for me and my recovering spouse to go out and see The Avengers. I’m still thinking about how awesome the movie was; completely worth the time and money!

Thanks for visiting, Gramsie!

Gram and Granddad were able to celebrate Rob’s 33rd birthday, attend our church service, go to gymnastics and a t-ball with Xander, play several chess matches, read books (lots of them), and just have fun with the kids.

They also got diaper, bath, and kitchen duty.

For two days after their departure, Xander would tell me he wanted his grandparents back with tears in his eyes.

Alexander is now 4 years old!

He is 35 pounds, 41 inches, and has limitless energy.

His favorite things are: Robots (still), Iron Man (still), and Star Wars (still). Last year I wrote that we were beginning a Thomas phase and that I wasn’t sure if it would stick. It stuck.

Xander is beginning a new phase: Doctor Who. He loves watching episodes with his dad, and getting freaked out afterwards.

This past year I have had the privilege of watching him overcome a language delay, start preschool, learn how to interact with kids his age, begin reading and writing, become a brother of two, and move from “toddler” to “little kid”.

Oh, and he’s grown a lot more hair.

Some fun things Xander has accomplished: he has memorized all 44 presidents including some trivia, learned the scientific names of all his bones, and hidden God’s word in his heart.

A year ago at his 3rd birthday party a friend gave him his first board game – Candyland. He now plays chess.

Xander from 3 to 4, chronologically:

Happy birthday, Xander!

Problem-free delivery

Healthy lungs

Perfect everything

Very holdable

Very loved

Welcome to the family, Aliza!

Prior to 5 weeks ago he had never hit a ball off a tee, he called the bat a “football bat”, and he ducked and covered at every ball that was thrown toward him. We’re still working on the ducking and covering, but he has learned everything else.

Of course, you can’t help but compare your child to all the other kids out there. Xander is a very strong hitter for his age. He’s quick chasing grounders, but forgets to go after the ball while it’s still moving, so other kids get to the ball first.

But the best thing is that Xander follows his coach’s directions and he isn’t afraid to try things. He is very enthusiastic when told it’s his turn at bat. Each time he reaches a base, he jumps up and down on it with excitement. I never feared that he would be the kid who cries throughout the game – that’s just not his personality – but his level of enthusiasm on the field was a fun surprise.

After church:

Today, after noticing how slowly I was getting chores done, I invited over a few boys who live nearby to hunt some eggs in the backyard. (Ulterior Motive: I have a lot of candy in the house and needed to get rid of it before my pregnant self ate it all). As soon as we confirmed a time, the speed at which I cleaned up tripled.

It’s a simple trick, but it gets to job done. Invite someone over and the house has to be cleaned by a certain time. As a bonus, the kids get to have a great time, too.

New seating arrangements in the van, making room for baby Aliza!

Family picture at the zoo entrance.

Not the best picture, but it shows just how great with child I am.
We’re ready to get this baby out!

Watching the animals. I love that both kids enjoy the zoo, but in different ways. At 18 months, Arya is just at the age where she notices the animals and smiles at them; Xander was soaking up facts about the different animals all day.

And some shots of parents and kids:

The next time we take a zoo trip, there will be 5 of us!

With all the possible combinations of Rob’s genes and mine, it astounds me that we have two children who look so much like each other.

What does Number 3 look like? I can’t wait to find out!