Both my children are currently in transition. Xander will be 4 in April and while some things about him are still toddler-like (specifically his language skills; another day, another post) he is becoming a "real" boy. Arya is almost 16 months old now. She’s not a baby anymore, but not quite what I’d consider a toddler either. I haven’t yet figured out what to do with Arya’s room when Baby Aliza comes; I’m going to give her a few more weeks to grow up a bit before I start making decisions.

But Xander needed a change immediately. He no longer takes a daily nap, so we have what we call “room time”: 60-90 minutes a day where he can do anything he wants as long as it’s quiet and in his room. While waiting for spackling and paint to dry last week, I decided to tackle the issue of how to give Xander some freedoms of an older child but within limits for his age.

We don’t have any "extra" rooms, so a playroom is not an option for us. I’m also a firm believer that if toys can’t fit neatly into my kids’ rooms then they have too much stuff.

A lot of toys in Xander’s room were no longer age appropriate, so we gave them to Arya. With all our guests over the holidays, his toys had started to creep into the living room, so they needed to get sent back to his bedroom. He also had a 2-shelf bookcase in his room that was no longer big enough for our needs. Xander goes to half-day preschool three days a week, but the rest of the time he is unofficially home schooled (I have yet to decide how he’ll be schooled at 5 so I’m doing both right now but again, another day, another post). Because all of my and Rob’s books are still in boxes, and probably will be for quite some time, I stole an empty shelf and gave it to Xander.

The result is a room that is much more functional for a preschooler, and it cost me nothing. I tried to make sure that there is nothing in the the room that can permanently mark or stain. The worst that can happen as Xander is playing alone is that he creates a pile of toys to put away.

Corner 1:

Corner 2:

Corner 3:

Corner 4:

Because of all the space opened up by SuperPantry, I was able to move all of Xander’s jigsaws, messy toys, and other things he needs to ask for into the hall closet, which is still a work in progress.

Because I’ll have my hands full with the girls in 3 months, I tried to help Xander be more independent in the kitchen. I put all the kids’ plates and cups in a low cabinet so Xander can help himself. The new pantry has a drawer where I’ll keep pre-made snack bags that Xander can take. The next step, happening this week, is to organize the fridge so Xander can reach snack bags with his fruits and veggies. I don’t have fatty foods in the house, period. We rarely have sodas around. I keep everything as organic or natural as we can afford; nothing artificial for the kids. And I don’t keep juice or milk within Xander’s reach in fridge so that if he’s thirsty his only option is water.

With our new arrangement, Xander feels like a big boy, and I am more free to help Arya.

Tags: housewifery, parenting, xander

Yesterday, when Xander got up from his nap, I was still doing some laundry so I didn’t have time for a “together” activity yet. I told him to go play in his room for a little bit and he did. After several minutes had gone by, I went in to sneak a peek at him and this is what I found:

A 2-year-old with a clean room (minus the unmade bed) and organized play!

For the last few months, Xander has been very good at cleaning, organizing, and helping out around the house; he even initiates it sometimes. When he finds trash, he puts it in the trash can. He puts dirty clothes in the hamper. After meals, he puts his dishes in the sink or dishwasher. He even puts his sippy cups on coasters. Yes, coasters. No, I’m not kidding. I’m sure part of it is his own personality – for instance, if he spills a little of his food at the dinner table, he won’t take another bite until it’s wiped clean – but there are a few things I’ve deliberately done in the last year to help him stay organized and help me stay sane. These are the things that worked for us:

Model It
Our house isn’t very large so I’m not able to store away everything I want to, but everything does have its place. I wish I could say I’m organized 100% percent of the time, but I do my best to let him see me clean up and put things back in their place. Xander knows where the remote controls go after we’re done, and on which shelf in the pantry certain foods belong.

Be Consistent
A little after Xander turned one, I started letting him watch me put away all his toys before each naptime and bedtime. When he was a little older, I had him help me as much as his age and attention span would allow. He’s now at the point where all I have to say is “clean up” and he gets right to it, singing the Clean Up song from Barney (tangent: he only knows the first two words so he repeats them over and over…but it’s a descending minor third, the universal interval of childhood…that was for free). He’s even starting to take the initiative. There are some days when I’m worn out and don’t have the energy to clean up, but most of the time I stick to the twice a day cleanup routine. It works for us.

Organize Playtime
I use a “one toy in, one toy out” method with Xander. While he’s playing with his toys, I have him put back what he just played with before he starts on a new one. When a little boy has a bunch of toy cars, jumbo lego blocks, puzzles, books, and a workbench with “wood” pieces, it is chaotic to have them all out at once. It also makes cleanup a daunting task. With the one in/one out method, I stay calm and he stays happy.

A Place for Everything
Storage cubes and bookshelves are my best friend. I organize his cubes by type of toy, and his bed has drawers on the bottom where I store some more (I also organize the books on his shelf according to height and he’s starting to catch on…but that’s just my particular brand of crazy). He knows where to find what he wants and knows where it goes when he’s done. For example, if he wants to create a traffic jam on his rug, he knows that the last drawer under the bed is the place to find anything that drives.

When Arya joins the party in 6 weeks, I’m sure things will get chaotic again for a bit. I may need to do a follow-up post once I figure out how to keep two kids organized. But for now, I’m enjoying our peaceful days.

Also, the current state of our study makes me a big, stinking hypocrite for writing this post. I’m owning up to it.

Tags: housewifery, parenting, xander